my running adventures – barefoot or otherwise

Do you know what a Fogger is? No? Then read on and I’ll let you into a little secret…

Definition of Fake

Definition of Fake

I had a bit of an epiphany last Wednesday on my way to a certain pizza restaurant that do expressly nice pizzas. There I was, driving my beautiful wife along for same tasty nosh, when I caught a sighting that up until that moment, I had never really thought too much about.

You know the sight, you’ve seen it before. There’s a person, wearing expensive-looking running gear that looks brand new, and they’ve just come to a set of traffic lights, or just come to a busy road, or just been held up by a bus, or something like that.

Fine so far right? Right…except that there is something you can’t put your finger on that makes you suspect them of something, but you just don’t know what it is.

Do you know?


It dawned on me, and I’ll tell you what it is…

  • They aren’t sweating.
  • They don’t have flushed cheeks.
  • They don’t bend forward, or stretch any muscles whatsoever.
  • They don’t look at their watch or smartphone, or even look mildly inconvenienced by their supposed pause in their activity.
  • They’re not even out of breath.

You know why?

Because they’re FOGGERS.

Yes, that’s right. It’s a term you haven’t probably heard of before, but I’m claiming it here and now and it refers to Fake jOGGERS. See what I did there, the F of Fake and the ‘OGGERS’ of Joggers?

Now, my challenge to you over this next week is to see how many FOGGERS you can identify. You’ll become worried. You’ll wonder if you’re the only genuine runner or jogger around. Don’t let them take the streets. Don’t let them affect your lofty aspiration to get better at doing what you do. Don’t stoop to their level.

Stay proud, stay strong, and keep running or jogging. Don’t be a fogger. Don’t even contemplate it, because now WE know the TRUTH. Foggers, your time is up. We’re going to hunt you down and because you can’t jog or run, you can’t hide. Anywhere. Apart from inside, in front of your telly scoffing chocolate, donuts and twinkies (that’s for you American dudes out there!).

Be watchful, and report back on your findings.



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This entry was posted on June 3, 2013 by in Barefoot running, Running and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , .
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